How to Stop Putting Things Off and Build Momentum

5 phrases from “Why You Always Procrastinate”

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00:00Intro

MiaHello and welcome to Cocoa English Podcast!

MiaRyan, let me ask you a question.

MiaHave you ever had one urgent, important task on your to-do list—like writing a simple five-minute email or paying one electric bill—but instead of doing it, you spent three hours scrubbing your bathroom tiles, rearranging all your spices in alphabetical order, and watching online videos about how pencils are made?

Ryan[laughs] Oh Mia, you are looking directly into my soul right now!

RyanThat was my exact Sunday morning last weekend.

RyanI sat down at my desk with a fresh cup of hot coffee at nine o'clock, ready to write a short work summary that should take twenty minutes.

RyanBy one o'clock in the afternoon, my coffee was cold, my kitchen was sparkling clean, all my old socks were matched and rolled into neat little balls, and my computer document was still completely blank with the little cursor blinking at me!

MiaThe blinking cursor of doom!

MiaWhy do we do that to ourselves?

MiaWe sit there knowing that the task is important, our brain knows it only takes a few minutes, but our whole body suddenly decides that cleaning behind the refrigerator is the most urgent emergency in the universe!

RyanIf you are listening to us today, and you often find yourself putting off important things until the very last minute while feeling stressed and guilty, welcome!

RyanYou are in the right place, and you are definitely not alone.

MiaWe are so happy you are spending your day with us.

MiaToday, we are talking about why you always procrastinate, why putting things off is not because you are lazy, and how to make starting any task feel simple, light, and stress-free so you can enjoy your life with real peace of mind.

RyanSo make yourself a warm cup of tea or coffee, get into your favorite comfortable chair, and let's jump right into our conversation!

MiaRyan, let's start with that big word that everyone hears all the time: procrastination.

MiaWhat does it actually mean in simple everyday English?

RyanTo procrastinate simply means to delay or put off doing something that you know you need to do, usually choosing to do something easier or more enjoyable instead.

MiaExactly.

MiaYou know you should do the task today, but a tiny whisper in your mind says: 'Let's just do it tomorrow morning instead.'

RyanAnd then tomorrow morning arrives, and that same little voice whispers: 'Well, next Monday morning would be even better!'

MiaAnd before you know it, two whole weeks have passed, the deadline is tomorrow, and that tiny task has grown into a giant, heavy monster hanging over your head!

RyanMia, whenever people talk about procrastination, the very first word they use to describe themselves is 'lazy'.

RyanWhy do people always think that putting things off means they are just lazy?

MiaThat is one of the biggest and most painful myths in modern life.

MiaPeople think that procrastination equals laziness, but scientists and psychologists have proven that they are completely different things.

RyanHow are they different?

RyanWhat is the difference between real laziness and procrastination?

MiaThink about how you feel when you are truly resting or being lazy.

MiaOn a Friday night, you lie on your sofa under a soft blanket, you eat some chocolate ice cream, and you watch a funny movie.

MiaHow does your body feel?

RyanIt feels wonderful!

RyanMy shoulders drop, my mind is calm, my heart is happy, and I feel zero stress.

MiaExactly!

MiaReal rest brings you peace and joy.

MiaBut what happens when you procrastinate?

MiaYou are sitting on the couch scrolling through social media videos, but inside your stomach, you feel a tight knot.

RyanOh, that tight knot is so real!

RyanEven while you are watching funny cat videos, a loud voice inside your head is shouting: 'Why are you watching this?

RyanYou need to finish that report!

RyanYou are running out of time!'

MiaExactly!

MiaWhen you procrastinate, you are not relaxing at all.

MiaYou feel anxious, guilty, stressed, and exhausted the entire time.

MiaYou are actually suffering while you scroll!

RyanThat is such a powerful way to look at it.

RyanIf we were truly lazy, we would enjoy the delay!

RyanBut because we feel guilty and stressed, it proves that procrastination is not a lack of caring.

MiaRight!

MiaProcrastination is not a problem with your time management or your character.

MiaIt is an emotional reaction.

Ryan[curious] An emotional reaction?

RyanWhat kind of emotion makes us run away from a simple email or a piece of homework?

MiaOur human brain has one main job: to protect us from danger and discomfort.

MiaWhen a task feels boring, confusing, scary, or too big, our brain treats it like a threat.

RyanLike a threat?

RyanLike a wild animal in the forest?

MiaIn a way, yes!

MiaWhen our brain feels emotional pain or fear, it wants to escape to a safe place immediately.

RyanAnd what is the safest, most comfortable place in the modern world?

MiaOur smartphone screen, a bag of potato chips, or cleaning the kitchen sink!

RyanHaha, yes!

RyanThat brings us to one of the funniest things humans do: productive procrastination.

MiaOh, productive procrastination!

MiaLet's explain what that means, because I am a world champion at it.

RyanProductive procrastination happens when you do useful, helpful daily chores—like washing dishes, organizing your bookshelf, folding laundry, or answering easy messages—just to avoid the one hard, important task you are scared to start.

MiaYes!

MiaYou tell yourself: 'Look at me, I am being so productive!

MiaI just cleaned the entire kitchen and organized all my receipts from three years ago!'

RyanYou feel like a hard worker because your apartment is shining clean.

RyanBut deep down, in the quiet corner of your heart, you know you only did all those chores because you were avoiding that one phone call to the bank!

MiaRyan, what is the funniest chore you have ever done just to avoid doing real work?

RyanLast month, I had to call my dentist to make an appointment for a tooth checkup.

RyanI really dislike making phone calls to medical offices.

RyanSo instead of picking up the phone for two minutes, I spent four hours wiping every single green leaf on my houseplants with a wet paper towel!

Mia[gasp] Every single leaf on your houseplants?

RyanYes!

RyanI inspected every plant, checked the soil, wiped the dust off twenty-five leaves, and told myself: 'My plants need my love right now, the dentist can wait until tomorrow!'

MiaThat is hilarious!

MiaMy classic story happened when I had to create a ten-slide presentation for a meeting.

MiaInstead of writing the first slide, I spent three hours reorganizing all the icon folders on my computer desktop and color-coding them by season!

RyanColor-coding computer folders by season?

RyanMia, that is pure art!

MiaI had pink folders for spring, yellow folders for summer, and brown folders for autumn!

MiaI felt so satisfied, but my presentation had zero slides written!

RyanWhy do we do that?

RyanWhy do simple tasks like a phone call or a presentation feel so scary that we would rather clean leaves and organize folders?

MiaI think for most people, the number one secret cause behind procrastination is perfectionism.

RyanPerfectionism.

RyanLet's break that down for our listeners.

RyanWhat does it mean to be a perfectionist?

MiaA perfectionist is a person who wants everything they do to be one hundred percent flawless, without any mistakes, errors, or weaknesses.

RyanThey hold a picture in their head of a perfect, magnificent result.

RyanThey think: 'If I cannot make this report look like a masterpiece, then anything I write will be a failure.'

MiaExactly.

MiaThey believe that their work represents their personal worth as a human being.

MiaSo if the work is imperfect, they worry that people will judge them, criticize them, or think they are not smart enough.

RyanThat fear creates huge pressure.

RyanWhen you sit in front of a blank white page, the pressure feels so heavy that your brain freezes completely.

MiaYou write one sentence, read it, think 'Oh, this sounds silly', and you hit the backspace button.

MiaThen you write another sentence, think 'This is not smart enough', and you delete it again.

RyanAnd after deleting five sentences in ten minutes, you throw your hands in the air and say: 'I am not in the right mood today.

RyanI will wait until inspiration comes to me tomorrow!'

MiaBut here is the big truth: inspiration rarely comes while you are waiting on the couch.

MiaAction creates inspiration, not the other way around!

RyanThat reminds me of that famous sentence: 'Perfect is the enemy of done.'

MiaThat is such a wonderful phrase!

MiaLet's say that again for everyone listening: perfect is the enemy of done.

RyanIt means that if you insist on making something totally perfect, you will probably never finish it at all.

RyanA messy, imperfect project that is finished and submitted is infinitely better than a perfect masterpiece that only lives inside your head.

MiaExactly.

MiaWhen you give yourself permission to do a messy first draft, the heavy pressure disappears like magic.

RyanMia, there is another dangerous trap that catches so many people, and that is what scientists call the guilt spiral.

Mia[sighs] The guilt spiral is so painful!

MiaHow does the guilt spiral work in our daily routine?

RyanImagine you wake up on Saturday morning and tell yourself: 'At ten o'clock, I will study English for forty minutes.'

MiaOkay, ten o'clock arrives, and your phone buzzes with a notification.

RyanYou pick up your phone just to check one quick message.

RyanBut then you see a funny video, and another video, and an interesting photo.

RyanSuddenly, you look at the clock, and it is eleven thirty!

MiaYou just lost an hour and a half to scrolling.

MiaAnd what is the immediate thought in your mind?

RyanYou start attacking yourself!

RyanYou say: 'Look at you, Ryan!

RyanYou are so undisciplined.

RyanYou have zero willpower.

RyanYou wasted your whole morning.

RyanYou are terrible at studying English.'

MiaThat wave of self-blame is the guilt!

MiaAnd because you feel so terrible, small, and stressed out, your brain feels hurt and uncomfortable.

RyanAnd what does our brain do when it feels hurt and stressed?

RyanIt looks for quick comfort to numb the pain!

MiaSo what do you do to escape the terrible feeling of self-blame?

MiaYou pick up your phone and start scrolling again!

RyanAnd suddenly it is two o'clock in the afternoon!

RyanThat is the spiral: procrastination causes guilt, guilt causes emotional pain, pain makes you seek distraction, and distraction causes more procrastination!

MiaYou get trapped in a circle of regret.

MiaThat is why being hard on yourself and shouting at yourself in your head never works.

MiaIt only makes the procrastination worse!

RyanSo if beating ourselves up doesn't work, what is the first step to breaking that painful circle?

MiaThe first step is something very gentle: immediate self-forgiveness.

RyanSelf-forgiveness?

RyanThat sounds so kind and peaceful.

RyanHow do you practice that in the moment?

MiaWhen you look at the clock and realize you just wasted an hour scrolling, take a slow, deep breath.

MiaDo not yell at yourself.

MiaInstead, place a hand on your chest and say kindly: 'Okay, I got distracted for an hour.

MiaThat is okay.

MiaI am human, and my brain was tired.

MiaThe past is gone, but I can start fresh right now in this very second.'

RyanWow.

RyanWhen you speak to yourself like a loving friend instead of an angry boss, the guilt disappears instantly.

RyanAnd when the guilt is gone, your brain doesn't need to run away to your phone anymore!

MiaExactly!

MiaForgiving yourself gives you your energy back.

RyanThat brings us to the next big question: once we forgive ourselves, how do we actually get started on tasks that feel huge and intimidating?

MiaThat is where we need to talk about the size of our tasks.

MiaWhy do big tasks scare our brain so much?

RyanBecause our brain looks at a goal like 'Clean the whole messy apartment' or 'Write a thirty-page business report' or 'Become completely fluent in English', and it sees a giant mountain that is ten thousand meters high!

MiaWhen you look up at a ten-thousand-meter mountain, your legs feel weak before you take even one step.

MiaYou think: 'This will take months.

MiaThis will be exhausting.

MiaI don't have the energy today.'

RyanSo how do we shrink that mountain down into something friendly?

MiaWe use the power of micro-steps and the famous two-minute rule!

RyanTell us about the two-minute rule, Mia.

RyanHow does it work?

MiaThe two-minute rule says: when you want to start a new habit or work on a scary task, make the very first step take less than two minutes to do.

RyanLess than two minutes?

RyanGive us some real examples!

MiaIf your goal is 'Clean the whole kitchen', your two-minute rule is: 'Wash just one single coffee cup in the sink and wipe the counter around the faucet.'

RyanThat sounds so easy that anyone can do it!

RyanWhat about studying English?

MiaIf your goal is 'Study English grammar for an hour', your two-minute rule is: 'Open your English podcast app and listen to just the first two minutes of one episode.'

RyanWhat about writing a long email or report?

MiaYour two-minute rule is: 'Open the blank document and type just the date and one single sentence.'

RyanBut Mia, people might listen to this and ask: 'Ryan, how does washing one cup or typing one sentence help me finish a huge project?'

MiaBecause the hardest part of any task is never the middle or the end.

MiaThe hardest part is always the starting line!

RyanThe physical friction of starting!

MiaYes!

MiaIn physics, there is a concept called momentum.

RyanMomentum!

RyanThat is such a fantastic word.

RyanLet's explain what momentum means.

MiaMomentum is the physical force that keeps an object moving forward once it has started moving.

RyanThink about pushing a heavy car.

RyanWhen the car is completely still, pushing it takes enormous energy to make the wheels turn for the very first centimeter.

MiaBut once the car starts rolling forward, it becomes much easier to keep it moving with just a gentle push!

RyanThat is momentum!

RyanAnd our human brain works in the exact same way.

RyanWhen you tell yourself 'I only have to wash one cup', your brain says 'Oh, one cup is easy, let's do it.'

MiaBut once your hands are in the warm soapy water and the first cup is clean, your brain says: 'Well, I am already standing here with the sponge.

MiaI might as well wash this bowl and this fork too!'

RyanAnd before you know it, ten minutes have passed, all the dishes are clean, and you feel energized!

MiaYou used a tiny two-minute doorway to build momentum.

RyanAnother wonderful technique I love for big projects is called the Swiss Cheese Method.

Mia[giggles] The Swiss Cheese Method?

MiaThat sounds delicious!

MiaWhy is it named after cheese?

RyanThink about a block of Swiss cheese.

RyanIt is famous for having lots of small holes all through it, right?

MiaYes, lots of little round holes!

RyanWhen you have a giant, intimidating project—like writing a long report or cleaning out an entire basement—do not try to eat the whole block of cheese in one giant bite.

RyanInstead, poke one tiny five-minute hole into it!

MiaHow do you poke a hole in a project?

RyanYou pick one super easy, five-minute piece of the task and do only that.

RyanFor example, if you need to plan a big trip, don't try to book all flights and hotels today.

RyanJust open Google Maps and look at the city center for five minutes.

MiaYou just poked one hole in the cheese!

RyanExactly!

RyanThen tomorrow, you poke another small hole by writing down three hotel names.

RyanAfter poking twenty small holes into a project, the whole task feels light, manageable, and full of air.

RyanIt is not a solid wall anymore!

MiaThat makes so much sense!

MiaIt takes all the fear away.

RyanMia, let's talk about our environment.

RyanHow does our physical space affect our tendency to procrastinate?

MiaOh, environment is everything!

MiaThere is a golden rule called 'The Out of Sight Rule'.

RyanThe Out of Sight Rule.

RyanIf you cannot see something, you don't think about it as much.

MiaExactly.

MiaStudies show that even having your smartphone sitting face-down on your desk drains your mental focus, because a small part of your brain is constantly using energy to resist looking at it.

RyanThat is why when I need to write something important, I take my phone, walk into my bedroom, put the phone inside a drawer under two sweaters, and close the drawer!

Mia[laughs] Under two sweaters?

MiaThat is serious commitment, Ryan!

RyanIf I want to look at my phone, I have to stand up, walk across the apartment, open the drawer, and dig through two sweaters.

RyanThat extra physical effort gives my brain time to remember: 'Wait, I am supposed to be working right now!'

MiaAdding a little bit of friction to your bad habits makes them ten times harder to do automatically.

RyanAnd on the other hand, you can remove friction for your good habits!

RyanIf you want to study English first thing in the morning, open the podcast on your tablet the night before and leave your headphones right next to your coffee cup.

MiaWhen you wake up, the good choice is already right there waiting for your hands.

RyanAnother practical tool I use every single week is what I call 'The Ugly First Draft'.

MiaTell us about the Ugly First Draft, Ryan!

RyanWhenever I have to write an article, an email, or plan a project, I write at the top of my paper: 'This is the ugly draft.

RyanIt is allowed to be messy, silly, and imperfect.'

Mia[excited] That gives you total psychological freedom!

RyanTotal freedom!

RyanI write in simple bullet points, I use informal words, I don't worry about spelling, and I just pour my raw thoughts onto the page.

MiaBecause it is so much easier to edit and improve a messy page than it is to create something brilliant from a blank page.

RyanExactly.

RyanYou cannot steer a parked car.

RyanYou have to get the car rolling first, even if it is rolling slowly in the wrong direction, and then you can steer it smoothly onto the highway!

MiaThat is such a great picture!

MiaAnother quick trick that helps me when I feel stuck is defining 'The Next Physical Action'.

RyanWhat does that mean: the next physical action?

MiaOften, on our to-do list, we write vague, fuzzy things like 'Fix car' or 'Prepare taxes' or 'Exercise'.

RyanThose words sound like giant projects, not simple actions.

MiaRight!

MiaYour brain doesn't know what physical action 'Fix car' actually means, so it delays.

MiaBut if you change that item to: 'Open laptop and find the phone number of the auto repair shop on Maple Street', that is a concrete physical movement that takes twenty seconds!

RyanWhen the next step is crystal clear and physical, your body can just do it without thinking.

MiaAnd finally, don't forget to use 'The Reward Sandwich'.

RyanWhat is a Reward Sandwich?

MiaBefore you start a twenty-minute focus session, decide on a lovely, cozy reward waiting for you immediately after.

RyanLike twenty minutes of writing, followed by five minutes of stepping out onto the balcony in the warm sunshine with a cup of hot cocoa!

MiaYes!

MiaYour brain loves having something pleasant to look forward to.

RyanRyan and Mia, this brings us to one of our favorite parts of every Cocoa episode: our Word Walk!

MiaYes, let's take a peaceful stroll through five wonderful words and phrases we used in our conversation today so you can add them to your daily English toolkit.

RyanOur first word today is: procrastinate.

MiaProcrastinate.

MiaListen to the rhythm and stress: pro-CRAS-ti-nate.

RyanTo procrastinate is a verb that means to delay or put off doing something that you know you need to do.

MiaIn our episode, we said: 'If you often find yourself putting off important things, you are procrastinating.'

MiaFor example: 'I always procrastinate when I have to clean my closet.'

RyanOur second word today is: overwhelm.

MiaOverwhelm.

MiaThe stress is on the second part: o-ver-WHELM.

RyanTo overwhelm someone means to cause someone to feel that something is too big, too difficult, or too much to handle.

MiaIn our conversation, we talked about how a huge task can overwhelm our mind and freeze us in place.

MiaFor example: 'Having ten different deadlines this week completely overwhelmed Sarah.'

RyanOur third word is: perfectionist.

MiaPerfectionist.

MiaListen to the stress: per-FEC-tion-ist.

RyanA perfectionist is a person who wants everything they do to be completely free of any mistakes, flaws, or errors.

MiaIn our episode, we explained that a perfectionist often procrastinates because they are afraid of making mistakes.

MiaFor example: 'David is such a perfectionist that it took him three hours to choose one font for his resume.'

RyanOur fourth word today is: momentum.

MiaMomentum.

MiaListen to the middle syllable: mo-MEN-tum.

RyanMomentum is the force or speed that keeps something moving forward and growing stronger once it has started.

MiaIn our chat, we said that taking one tiny two-minute step builds momentum for the rest of your day.

MiaFor example: 'Once the team finished the first small goal, they gained momentum and finished the whole project early.'

RyanAnd our fifth phrase today is a classic phrasal verb: put off.

MiaPut off.

MiaTwo short words: put off.

RyanTo put off something means to postpone or delay an event, meeting, or task until a later time.

MiaIn our conversation, we asked: 'Why do we always put off the tasks that matter most to us?'

MiaFor example: 'Don't put off your doctor appointment just because you are busy today.'

RyanThose five words—procrastinate, overwhelm, perfectionist, momentum, and put off—are such practical tools to describe your daily life and habits!

MiaRyan, as we come to the end of our conversation today, what is the one big thought you want our listeners to keep in their hearts?

Ryan[serious] I want everyone listening to remember: you are not broken, you are not lazy, and you are not a failure because you procrastinate.

RyanYou are simply a human being with a brain that gets tired and scared of big, stressful things.

MiaThat is so true.

MiaBe gentle with yourself today.

MiaLet go of the guilt from yesterday, and don't worry about finishing everything tomorrow.

RyanJust pick one tiny task that has been sitting on your shoulders.

RyanTake a slow, deep breath, smile, and give it just two minutes of your time.

MiaWe would love to hear from you!

MiaWhat is one small task you have been putting off this week that you are going to take one tiny two-minute step on today?

RyanLeave your answer in the comments below.

RyanWe read your stories and love cheering you on!

MiaThank you so much for spending your time with us on Cocoa English Podcast.

MiaHave a wonderful, gentle day, and we will see you in the next episode!

RyanTake care, everyone!

RyanBye!

MiaBye!